I am getting insanely excited here in the library cafe. Just to ease some tension before doing work I decided to take this What Donut Are You thing and.........

OH MY GOD.... I AM......................

You Are a Jelly Donut

So you're a little rounder than most folks - but it's only in the right places!You maintain a clean exterior, even if you're all messy on the inside.You think you're the best, and that's mostly true...But remember, you're just an empty shell without your jelly!

What Donut Are You?

*grins widely*

I am a JELLY DONUT!! *jumps up and down* Have I ever mentioned that I am crazily in love with JELLY DONUTS from Dunkin Donuts? They rock my sodding socks. : ))))

I'll try my best not to be an emotional wreck anymore. Cheers to a brand new day!

Frustrated.

Just like aps says, I think our hormones have gone warped.

I am so tired. I didn't really do well for my assignment. Not that it would have bothered me alot in the past but now it bothers me more than anything.

Not that I don't want to care and share. I feel pent up frustration and I'd rather keep quiet if all I get is negative criticism.

Perhaps I'm just being sensitive. The once patient heart has faded into a jaded piece of nothing.

Think positive babe. Think positive and stay focussed.

The afternoon brought about such a heavy torrent of rain that was frightening. I could feel my legs going white because of the chill. Not to mention when I decide to wear a skirt because it was hot and sunny when i left the house, then have to get on the freezing bus with semi wet legs. : (

Then I come home and realise that my undies have been washed a second time, by the rain. Great.

I've got a field trip tomorrow and I'm going to be bringing along a cramp laden tummy.

Things just aren't quite going as well as I planned for myself today. I need a break to finish my book. Though a tad exaggerated, I like reading how Sophie Kinsella comes up with the wildest of all situations.

Did I mention that my fyp may be to India? I think I'll just throw a fit and cry at the doctors.

I'm kinda confused.

Trying to please everyone is such a hard thing to do.

So when one gets tired she decides to just live for herself, do what she wants and goes for what she thinks is worth it.

Then others start telling her that she's going in the wrong direction.

So what now. Revert back to trying to please everyone, get tired, then decide to repeat the same old cycle again?

I think I will just stick with living for myself. I've had enough of trying to please everyone. Call me stubborn, self centered or whatever.

I'll just live in my own bubble of what I call happiness, derived from small little things which I do to brighten my gloomy days up.

Why such a bone-filled post you may ask? After a day of feeling all CHARRRGGGEEEEDDDD UUUPPP!!! to do my assignments and having completed my quota for the day, the last thing I needed was for someone to tell me that I'm too much in love.

As they always say, the one in it will always never know what she's in for. I do appreciate your advices very much but I do know very well what I'm doing as well. At the same time even as we are to share weal and woe with the relavant people, I find it rather tough to tell him what causes me to be upset because it will end up upsetting him as well.

So what do i do? Trust myself. Live for MYSELF.

Ta-daaaa.

Do you know how forgetful I am?

I came online last night with the intention of sending out an email to 2 people with the outline attached. But I came online, chatted for awhile, then a phonecall came in and I switched off the com thereafter. When I plonked myself onto the bed then I realised oh. I had clean forgotten about the email. The funny thing is I even opened my mailbox and saw Tanya's mail and happily read it but it didn't occur to me in my pea brain that I had to send the email.

So before I slept I put a reminder in my hp for this morning, to send out those emails. I set my alarm for 8am. And put the reminder at 830am. Because I like the snooze x3 for the shiokness of it, then snooze another 3 mins before the reminder comes on.

Weird, is me.

I wanted to put myself on a sandwich and soup diet but as you would have guessed, it didn't quite work out very well. I was so tired out yesterday that I just wanted to pig out and be happy. ha ha ha. See what happens when food becomes your outsource for short term happiness? I looked through some of my photos taken last year and realised that shittemama goddamit tamade I have indeed grown a tad WIDER.

Someone please motivate me, tie me to a chair in front of the lappie, switch off my internet connection or block me from all blogs and birk sites, feed me only water and soup. Ok now that was quite extreme. Hahahahahaha

I'm going nuts.

I keep dreaming of going on holidays with him as of late. The dreams are fantastic of course, but waking up to reality of having to rise and shine early just to do an assignment is way harsh.

I spent an unexpected shitloads of hours just working on the powerpoint presentation today. My eyes feel like they're about to pop and I hope all things go well tmr. At the very worst, if the computer is down I will just bang my head against the wall and wished I died instantly.

I see a doom that is looming ahead because due to many small things that require immediate attention, my major deadlines have still been left untouched. Yeah what the hell am I thinking or doing right? I tell you I am so overwhelmed that I am being a super blur cock. Everyday I forget to do or bring something. Even before I sleep I think about what else I have to do. The time of the semester has come. Hello to even worse skin and minimal sleep nights.

My face has gotten a bit better. Most would have heard about my incessant complaining about the stupid doctor whom I had to force to give me cream. Wth.

On the bright side, I ordered myself a pretty top today. : ) And it can be collected tmr afternoon so I can be a pretty teacher in the future. Hahaha just let me disillusion myself this once la ok.

I think my heart melted into a puddle when I received a msg that said "You are my motivation and driving force and I'm very happy about that" Well I guess even as I'm in deep shit myself it really warms my heart to know that I mean so much to him. : )

Before Cher says I'm such a mush mush, toods.

It's a lovely wednesday morning, AND I'M HOME! Ok la I'm being off-point because I am home every wednesday morning but its special today. Because I don't have to make my way to school for the 2 hour lecture, and I don't have to give tuition tonight AND I'm going to orchard later to get myself a book for the assignment. As per normal almost 90% of the population has gotten theirs and slow poke me is going to get mine today. : )

I had so many dreams last night but none of which I can vividly recall. Hmmm perhaps too tired from the excitement of playing PS2 with my sister last night. Kinda brought back memories of how we used to play these games when we were younger too. The famous incident of her falling out of me when I burst her sole balloon in this game called balloon fight. Hiak hiak hiak.

Anyway, I realise I forgot to congratulate Krystabel!!! On her good results for her SPM. *hugs* Good job babe! Not sure what your plans are for now but you can update me when on msn. : )

Plans for Bkk have been thwarted by the tremors plus unrest in the region. Darrrrn.

Back to clearing up my pile of work before going out then! Have a good wednesday folks!

Just like the weather that has taken a turn for the super warm, I've regained my sunshine self once again. : ) I guess sometimes blogging is a form of expression which reaches out to the relevant parties in order for amendments to be made.

Amidst the huge pile of work there is a fair share of enjoyment too so that's great. Sometimes doing simple things can bring a huge smile to light up my life. : ) The load of this semester lightened a bit with the handing up of the ccm assignment. Many more to come which I have not started upon yet but with perseverence I should be able to conquer it all. Muhaha trust me in about 2 week you will see me on the verge of yet another "irritable index at its max" due to the impending stress.

I'm taking it rather easy this semester I suppose. Keep it steady I always try to tell myself. I have a test tomorrow and I don't understand half the things I read. Guess I better head back to trying to seek some understanding out of it.

To all others in the same insane institution, HANG IN THERE! No matter how busy you may be, just set aside something to do something you really like and you'd realise that there's more to life than work so let's take it in our stride. : )

I did something quite insane today. Because I dont normally play games, but ever since the temporary arrival of the PS2 in my house I have to admit I've been rather hooked. So I went to buy a controller to replace the insensitive one so that I can battle the owner. Hahaha I think I am going nuts to want to play PS in the midst of this even more insane month! But oh well, its a form of release!

I find it kinda hard to pinpoint how I feel exactly now. As in there's something tugging at me but I can't find the correct words to express how I feel.

All of a sudden I just feel like no one loves me anymore so I should disappear into a corner.

My mood has been fluctuating a fair bit the past few days. The timely arrival of three pimples or me just being under the stress of my own procrastination.

It's rather weird. I can be smiling happily for a moment and the next if you say something wrong I can almost cry in your face. That's how emotionally unstable I am. Maybe its just the normal insecurities that set in which make me so unbalanced.

Blame it on the insane month of deadlines la huh.

I was just about to blog about how bored I am because I kinda declared a day off for myself after science class but yet I have nothing much I'd like to do except wait for someone to finish off school.

Then now my long awaited call has come in. So I'm off! : ))

I can't seem to get it going right. In whatever that I type there's a lingering query which I cannot quite answer.

And somehow despite the encouragement I feel quite alone. : (

Just hope I can get it going right soon. My head is getting kinda heavy and my eyes are starting to tear. Shucks I am such a wuss.

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH.

To top it off my com is functioning at a lagging state thanks to some website mum went to which probably had a virus. I hope this isn't a sign that my lappie is dying. Because I will just die too.

: ( : ( : ( : ( : (

It's finally the last day of this killer week. Plus an entire day free thrown in tomorrow because there is no cts tutorial. Whooopeeedo!

So at last thursday is here. One hurdle down when the dreaded assignment is handed in followed by the presentation which I still haven't concluded because I'm lazy to re-read. Many more hurdles to clear ahead though, and I think in the midst of doing so many assignments I sleep alot. On average I sleep about 7 hours a day which to me is rather pathetic. I always feel that sleeping 8 hours is the bare minimum. This morning however after a mere 6 hours of sleep I woke up with a searing pain in my chest. Guess I was too tired last night thus I concussed in one sleeping position till morning and so my ribcage got smashed together.

I still feel damn sleepy. Shit. And the pains of being a woman brought about an awfully sore pimple right smack on my nose bridge. I shall wear my specs today then because it can cover up the eyesore.

*yawn*